Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Cat Guy

In all my life, the only thing that I've ever wanted was a man to go totally nuts over. But there needed to be something very different about him. Something that set him apart form every other guy. Something that would make most people think I'm crazy, which might I add is totally okay with me.

Okay, so here it is, I want a cat guy. Confused? Let me confirm what it is not first.

1. Not a man dressed as a Cat: See the pics? Well, that is not my kind of idea for fun. One's not even furry. And the other pic is not the kind of furry I'd like either, not to mention the bad photo artistry there either. And then there's the other pink panther. None of these would ever ever work.
No way!
So now you understand that the male I seek is not supposed to look like a doofy human freak in any way. That would just be wrong!

Wrong idea, okay!
Note the blinding yellow cape
2. Not Cat-Man either: If you thought of bringing up the comic character Cat-Man, let me save you the trouble and assure you that as creepily sexy as he might be, he's not what I want. I doubt I could stand the colour of his costume either. Its like a beacon for attention. He may be attractive to cats but not to me. I for one am not a cat. So, its not a super hero that I'm interested in either. The job of a superhero's lady is very complicated too. Let's not go there!

Okay that is pretty much all that he shouldn't be. So now let me fill you in on what he seriously needs to be. Mind you, these are just physical attributes. Personality can be discussed some other time. Now here's what I really need this guy to be like.

Yummy, yea?
1. A man: I think we all know what a man is supposed to be like, right? If not, the pic should greatly help. Take a good look at the guy in the pic and just add a nice long tail, the kind that could be put to multiple uses (wink wink).

2. A cat: He will need to be as cute and warm and cuddly and adorable and simply all the cute cat things you could possibly think of.
Bundle of cute fur

Okay, now, without imagining something really dumb and stupid, imagine these two amazing beings come together to form the kind of being that I want. Something a lot like Nightcrawler from the X-Men but more catty. And there you have it. My deepest desire!

No! The Rat King scares people!

p.s: And once again the author made you go through a whole lotta crappy stuff.

Monday, January 10, 2011

Off With Your Head

I remember that fateful day
The day your head fell off;
It rolled onto the carpeted floor
The thud was pretty soft. -4

The people knew not how
We were bonded deep in blood;
I the passionately intelligent,
And you the useless dud. -8

They saw your mini red fountain
Raging from your severed head;
They refused to see its beauty
But agreed that you were dead. -12

I did paint of you a picture
Of black, crimson and scarlet;
I do not know why they damned me
We all need an emotional outlet. -16

Even my carpet was pleased as punch
It soaked up your blood and stained;
We've been trying so long for this
And finally a tragedy we have gained. -20

They finally caught up with me
Whilst dragging your body away;
Jailed me behind bars they did
Not a very nice place to stay. -24

I came to realize just then,
We really weren't meant to last;
Was our destined, fallen-out future
The irreplaceable headless past. -28

Years later they released me one day
Said I'd be good from then on;
No more a reason to be bad
What for? You were already gone. -32

Sunday, January 02, 2011

Autumn Being

Like falling off an autumn tree
An autumn leaf I'd like to be;
Away from all the nasty bark
An atmosphere more clean and stark. -4

They all look so very green
Faultless, every one of them seem;
If from high I ever fell
They wont ever be able to tell. -8

Just a single little brown leaf less
Who would really even notice;
A tiny snap without a single sound
And soon I'd be on the grassy ground. -12

I'd be floating in the air,
The wind would take me anywhere;
Far away from all them leaves
Far away from all them trees. -16

There'll be many just like me
All over the grassy green;
Crunchy sounds all around
To Mother Earth I am bound. -20

But an autumn leaf is what I'm not
A human form is what I've got;
Flesh and bones is all I can be
Better still, I'll be me. -24