Thursday, November 11, 2010

Life's a Sea of Jelly Fish

People love beaches. It's that place you go when you don't want to feel part of this world anymore or one with it. The horizon meeting the sky, with an awesome setting/rising sun is so super inspirational that great poets and authors alike have written way too much jazz about it. Lovers have romantically sat and canoodled on the sand while watching the sunset. They'll even have a little dip in the water, fool and splash about...when all of a damned sudden, someone's foot and leg is attacked by a jellyfish. This is the part when the unending horizon doesn't exist anymore, the inspired poet in your head dies and you miss the most beautiful sunset ever. At best, you'll have your lover piss on your stung body-part.
(the rest of this post will refer to life as the jellyfish sea...misinterpretations are most welcome)

Tips to Survive the Sea

1. The Jellyfish are All the Bad Stuff that Happens to YOU: They sting. And you wont even know it until later. You must realise,"Life stings" and there's nothing you can do to change it.

2. Move On: Yea, you know the Fastrack slogan...Move On! Life can't help itself. It was created this way. You've just gotta heal and forget about the sting. It'll just happen again anyway. People get stung all the time. Live with it!

3. Get Pissed On/ Piss Away: I'm being theoretically literal now. As icky and disgusting as it is, there is warmth in the gentle piss. Be willing to piss on someone when they get stung. They might hate you at first. And if they don't thank you, don't bother pissing on them again. When someone offers to piss on you when you're stung consider it a good sign of friendship. Such should be the case with every relationship.
(Not to be confused with getting pissed at stuff)
(Update July 15: On a serious note, if you really ever do get stung, head to a clinic. Piss isn't the cure/solution)

4. Avoid Getting Stung: Some people choose to swim about and get stung for no apparent reason (for kicks?). Don't be those people. They see the stinger and do nothing about it. In fact they'll walk straight into it. These are people to avoid. You could risk your own life. If you can't save them, leave them. Nature will do the rest.

5. Get Stung: Contradictory to the above I believe that sometimes you just have to take risks. Expect to be stung for all your life on different occasions. Understand this, there's a difference between slipping on a banana peel by mistake and jumping on it on purpose just to hurt your delicate behind.

Life. Cute, eh?

Summary: Such is the jellyfish life we live. You get stung; you can't go back in time (yet?!). Life's all pretty-like when you're thinking of and looking at it. And then it stings you when you least expect it.

p.s.: Not all of us have a friend to piss on us, sometimes you'll just have be your own hero.