Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Stand Up!

Question Time!!!:
Are you one of those people who are tired of having the floor beneath your feet?
Do you find the view or perspective from where you're standing just plain mundane?
Do most people look down on you?

If any of the questions were answered with a 'yes' then look no further. Step up to a real high. No more floors below your feet. See a different view of your surroundings. Look down on others even, if you like. They'll have to look up to you once you follow my advise.

It's quite simple. Stand up and step up! Get yourself off the floor...and onto the closest table near you. If you're at home, step up onto your chair. If at work, get onto your work table. And if you're a collegian then jump right onto your desk. Don't hesitate! Just Do it!

Why am I telling you to do this? Because you're going to love it! Who wouldn't want a little bit of fun in their lives?! No one sits down at a discotheque. So, why have a lesser kind fun at these places?

So the next time you're in a place you don't think is fun enough, hop onto the nearest table. And if you want things to get wilder, jump, scream and shout on it like you've completely lost all senses. If you don't find yourself laughing silly, fear not, you'll have everyone else around you in splits.

Disclaimer: The above provided information may/may not get you into trouble if you are physically or mentally below the age of 40. Anything "over the hill" isn't meant for your age anymore.

P.S.: No, the author wasn't high. But yes, taking her advise could be either hazardous to or good for your health.

Friday, September 12, 2008

When The Husbands Come Down...

Now, if you were to click on the title (which you should), you'd find that it's a link to a post having the same title. It would be advisable for you to read that post before you read mine that you may better understand this post in the right context. Not because I want to make the other very nice female author famous (she's famous enough anyways) but because the post's author had her own valid point too.

Men are expected to be the bread winners else they're not men enough. Us females are left home alone with nothing to do because we're too uneducated to work. So, seriously, what do we do? Make more babies like the baby machines we are?

Here's my version.

Sex: Female Married
Age: Mid fifties.
Children: A daughter in her early twenties and a son in his mid twenties.
Spouses: One. Away in Dubai earning tons of cash for her wild fantasies.

She thought: Why doesn't my hubby appreciate me more when he's around? He's so possessive. I want to feel and look sexy. Why can't I!? I think I will. Who says age matters? It shouldn't. I'm human, I have sexual needs too that need satisfaction. I want to seduce my daughter's boyfriend's delicious daddy. Who's to stop me? I like the way Mr. So-and-so winks at me. Or better, I like the top floor guy's fingers, so broad, the things he could do with them for me. I'll wear semi-transparent nighties and try and seduce him. I so need some succulent sex. Why stop myself?!

He returns and she thinks: Damn I can't do this in front of him. I'm so dependent on him. I need the money. What about the kids. Big deal, I can have what I want. A hubby, kids, free random sex, money, a future for my kids. If he was to find out I'd lose it all and so would they. Things are best for everyone this way.

In reality: For all we know Mr. hubby is doing and thinking the same while he's away. For all we know his sweet secretary is sweetly sucking at his cock on his desk while his wife merely flirts and fantasizes.

Big deal! It's natural human nature to want sexual pleasure. If society didn't make it "wrong" to have sex with anyone other than your own spouse, sex would be more recreation than procreation and there's nothing wrong in that. There is nothing double faced about it. We have to hide it not because we're ashamed of it but because society likes to pick on people. Husbands or wives even for that matter need to earn for their and their children's better living. Compromises are made, people are happy. Why play with a peaceful mind?

P.S.: The author encourages you to please read the other posts on for the sole reason that it is a fact that her own posts must terribly bore you to suicide. Also because what the other author writes has much more content that may interest you.

P.S.2: And for all those readers starved of sex, meet your new bhabhi here -->

Saturday, September 06, 2008

Call Me A Bitch

Getting straight to the point, I don't normally get called a bit of a CH. At present there are only two people who are allowed to call me that. One of them I'm rarely in contact with and the other is someone close (none of your bees-wax who). Anyways, here are the criteria and credentials needed for people to call me a female of the canine kind.

About the word you must...:
1. Sound like you mean it.
2. Know why you're saying it.
3. Know it's meaning.
4. Be able to define it if I was to ask you to.
5. Conjure up your own definition that makes either sense or sense out of nonsense.

You yourself must:
1. Be a guy.
2. Act like a guy.
3. Sound like you have more than half a brain.
4. Sound like you use your brain.
5. Seem dumb but not necessarily be so.

You cannot under any circumstances:
1. Be a female enemy.
2. Be a female who wants to be my enemy.
3. Be brain-dead.
4. Not know what the word means.
5. Not know what you're saying but naturally assume the other person might be stupid enough to fall for your stupid intimidation.

If you're anything else you belong to the dimwit crowd not because you use the word but because you don't and wouldn't know how to use the word (or any other word for that matter) in the right way.

P.S.: In short, you cannot call the author a bitch under any circumstances anyways. There'll always remain just one person and just that one person alone who'll call her that. Everyone else is just a somebody else.

Is it possible for the author to be a bitch barking out words through her fingers?!