Thursday, July 17, 2008

Spray Orgasm

Are there joys to a toilet spray? Really? Of course there are. At least I say there are for the sole reason that it gives me a special joy. I wouldn't know about guys whether they would feel the same (they probably do for all I know) but if there's one thing for sure, there sure is some real 'feel good factor' that can come out of your usual toilet spray.

What does your ordinary spray do? It sprays out water whenever you may need to wash your delectable derriere. This is it's main purpose, to wash away impurities. But that's not all it can do.

If a bored girl was to just direct the forceful rush of water straight onto her delicate vaginal area she'd be surprised to learn something very sweet, so sweet it could get her high. Yes, you can even orgasm with the kind of force the spray has.

I therefore suggest all sex deprived females to have a spray in their loos for those who don't. For those who do, stop looking at your spray as just a spray.

P.S.: Have a spray day today, everyday!

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Two Little Dickie Heads

Two little dickie heads
Pissing on a tree;
One wore a button shirt
And the other wore a tee. -4

"My birdie's bigger!",
Said Shirt to Tee;
"Mine's been with better."
Said Tee to Shirt with glee. -8

Later Shirt and Tee
Sat by the creek,
One all coy;
and the other all meek. -12

"Oooh", said Shirt
Your head tickles me."
And so was the love
Between Shirt and Tee. -16

Friday, July 04, 2008

Salary Day V/S Report Day

Salary day reminds me of report day for a certain number of reasons. The reasons for which are as follows:

Salary Day
1. The anticipation: To begin with, there is this anticipation that comes when you're expecting your salary. You wonder if you've missed any office days and taken an off and whether it might effect your pay (or not) in any way.

2. The line: You have to wait in line to someone else. Employees are called by name one by one to come and collect they're cheques.

3. Meet with the Head: This is the moment you're in front of you're boss. You're just standing there like some sorta pillar till he decides to give your presence an acknowledgement.

4. The lecture: This is the part where s/he looks up at you, smiles and then gives you a full, verbal report of your performance last month. You just nod and agree with pretty much everything s/he says.

5. The cheque: This is what you've waited so long for. That piece of paper which tells you how well you've done last month. In case your salary is lesser you'll know you've missed days. In case it's all there you'll know you've done well.

6. The exit: You finally leave the cabin and can heave a sigh of relief with you're precious cheque in hand, soon to be deposited in your bank account.

Report Day
1. The anticipation: Here there's this anticipation for your annual exam report. You wonder if you've completed your 75% attendance, or if your papers went well and if your projects were more than satisfactory besides being submitted on time.

2. The line: In this case you wait in line according to your roll number. You stand in the line and wonder why the person right in front is taking so long and when your number will be called to collect your report.

3. Meet with the Head: This is the part where you're finally in front of your professor. You just stand there untill you've signed the register and wherever else that needs to be done before you can claim your report card/paper.

4. The lecture: The professor finally decides to give you his/her attention. S/he may first ask you about your health to waste time and then blab you about your wonderful (or not) performance during the entire year. Here too you just agree with whatever is being said in the hope that it gets you your report faster.

5. The report: Finally, after all that talk you get what you want. Proof of your excellent (or not so much) performance. Your attendance, ranks and percentage would tell you if you were a good girl/boy all the scholastic year round.

6. The exit: At last you get to take your leave with satisfaction on your silly smile knowing that you've passed "with flying colours". You can now add the report to all your other similar (if not better) collection of reports.