Sunday, December 30, 2007

Chilli And Cheese

I'm not as dolly dumb
As the girls of today come;
I'll consume it with ease
Like it was chilli and cheese. -4

Chilli and chocolate or chilli and cheese;
I'll have them both if you please,
I'll have it when you stand,
I'll swallow as much as I can. -8

I like chilli and cheese below the belt,
Let chilli and chocolate in my mouth melt;
There's nothing sweeter than this,
This, bitter-sweet chilli business. -12

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Holiday Bunking

How come nobody does it? No one wants to bunk a holiday. They'd all rather bunk a lecture or the entire day at college. Does no one want to go to college on an off day and sit in an empty class? You'd be doing the same thing when normally sitting in class (for those who still sit for any lectures) which would probably include playing dead. (Not me of course, I'm a student too good to be one.)
Imagine sitting at home and being driven bored by the extremely, overly bright and loud telly set and this fantastic idea comes to you. Wouldn't it be great to go to college on an off-day like a Sunday and sit in the class. I think it would be just great. An empty class with more absentees than normal including an absent teacher as well. The walls might even whisper to you (I always thought walls had ears really). There's always the library which should be open even on off days. You could sit in any class on any floor you like too.
I bunked a holiday once but my college didn't really like me coming there on an off day and shooed me away even after I flashed my ID card (with it's pretty little shiny metal heart hanging so lovingly from it) at the guard but the stupid imbicile doesn't look for/at my ID card when I shove it in his face on a holiday. I suppose he thought I was trying to bomb the college out of spite for it (he wants to bomb it first).
Now, just because it didn't work out so well for me doesn't mean the same may happen to you. You should try it out yourself. I think there should be mass-holiday-bunking, what say? Bunkers unite!!!

p.s.: The author expects that your experience may be too good for your well-being.
Did you know that the author's library has restricted the literature section but not the textbook, magazines, tattered novels or any of the other sections?

Monday, December 24, 2007


This is my december. I think it manages to sum up all that I go through. Below is a list of things that Demember brings.

1. Can't get away from all the excess chores.
2. Hard to find anything to do that equals to frolicking around on a sunny beach in a bikini.
3. Red nose syndrome occurs to keep you grounded doing more housework.
4. Imaginary voices keep reminding you to do things before the year ends.
5. Sound is carried futhur than usual during the cold specially when you yell.
6. There's too much baking going on at home.
7. Money saved all year disappears a lot faster during this month somehow.
8. A man in a red suit rimmed with fake white fur with a fake fat tummy laughs at you.
9. Suddenly you realise it's what the initial letter of each sentence from 1-9 spells out...which eventually leads to the next year.

p.s.: The author wishes one and all a Happy Christmas and a Very Merry New Year!!!

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Happy December

December Holidays: Since college began practically every alternate day is a holiday at my college. If it's not a public holiday for some national or state festival or college festival it's the teachers bunking college themselves. Since college started I didn't attend the first two Mondays and also missed the fourth Monday due to insufficient teachers at college. The first two weeks passed by me like the wind. Practically no teachers came for the first week. The second week had a few more since the results of my examinations were put up for all to see on the notice board. Lucky me I get reasonable marks. You won't believe how many people would love to see my marks considering I rarely share them with classmates. People actually found out that I topped in English Literature before me (I'm a braggart and proud of it). Such is the outrageous behaviour from my own classmates.. It's not fair!!! Then there's me bunking a day or four (never more). But with all these random holidays there's no real need to bunk I guess. With so many holidays during December I've decided that the entire month be treated like a holiday.

Dressed For December: During October - Novenmber I get hunted by my 'sweet' Catholic friends who keep asking me what I'm going to wear for Christmas and New Year Mass. They've usually already decided their choices of dresswear. They have a good competition on who can buy the most expensive and most beautiful dress.. Their brains stop functioning (must be rusty) when I tell them that I'm not buying anything new.

Pre-Planned Festival: The December joy is pre-planned months beforehand like for any other holiday. Then there's the oh-so-many parties that people get invited to, one better than the other (no one ever invites poor little me, I wonder why). Even the various educational centres close for Christmas and New Year every year.
I therefore shared the joy of December with all my classmates and anyone else who deserved my limited joy by wishing them 'Happy December' as soon as the month began. Are you celebrating it too?

p.s.: For those who didn't know, the author is a Catholic turned Atheist who's still considered as Catholic by society and most friends due to their inability to accept Atheists. She still attends the Easter mass, Christmas, New Year mass , death anniversary and funeral masses of loved ones due to societal pressure and selfless personal reasons. She doesn't attend wedding masses...just the post-mass wedding party.
On behalf of the author I wish you all a very Happy and Prosperous December.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Who Would You Slap?

With reference to THIS article I've decided to create a follow-up.

You come home late from work as usual. There's none to greet you when you reach your place 'cause your other half is dead asleep and snoring wildly. It's a pissy life but you're doing it for a better future. You thank goodness that the following day is a Sunday and you can finally have bit of solace to youself. But as you're sipping on your expensive coffee your friend comes over. S/he disturbs your mind when s/he tells you of the torrid affair between some good-looker and your spouse and s/he even has photos to proove it.
Now that you know about it who would you slap, your husband for cheating on you, your friend for telling you something that destroyed your perfect life or the pretty face who was helping your husband to cheat on you and why?
Should you have some other alternative, do share that as well

Monday, December 10, 2007

Come Back My Dear

There was once a boy I used to know,
He lived nearby, but not anymore.
He asked me to marry before he would go.
But I fell to my pride and so said "no" -4
This loneliness I can stand no more;
To him, my love, I have to go;
Will he still love me I do not know;
But to him my love I have to show. -8
At last when I reach him, I will say,
"Without you my love, I cannot stay,
Not tomorrow, never today!...
Will I ever leave you and go away." -12

Friday, December 07, 2007

The F-Word

Wrong!!! That's not it. Is that the only word that starts with the letter 'f' that you can think of? Be shamed for you are wrong*.

Oh yes! the insult most feared.
The one that each girl dreads to hear.
The word that even some men too now despise.
Playing with weights would be considered wise. -4

Fat!!! That's the new dirty insulting f-word. And the worst part is that no matter how hard you try to pretend you can't hear it, it's still there somewhere in your subconcious ricocheting off the walls of your already maddened mind. That 'extra' flesh, those flabby 'love handles' that reeks of all the 'fatty' foods you eat can make you feel so insecure and so fatty-like. You compare yourself to a pregnant woman and you feel better. Compare yourself to a skeleton and you'll think you're much too fat and wish you could see your protruding ribs when you look into the mirror. To be called by that 'dirty' word is so very humilating. It's like someone telling you that being on the healthy side is wrong.
Don't confuse the word 'fat' with 'obese' though. It's not the same thing. One is unhealthy and the other is a right balance of nutritious nutrients stuffed into you. But nobody uses that word. People just prefer to call you plain 'fat'. Yea, that just somehow has a more insulting effect. I've still not figured out why, but it just does. To most people obese is as good as equal to fat and therefore means the same thing. Try to explain to them the difference between the two and you'll probably get yourself called a freakishly nerdy dork and then after that they'll top it off with the word 'fat'!!!
Of course there is also the commonly (or not so much so) used option which is to slap yourself silly and find a reasonable hobby to drive the annoying thoughts out of your mind. I wonder if the world would be any different if everyone else was fat as well. I wonder what we'd poke fun at about our figures then. Considering our natural human tendencies, I'm more than certain that we'd find something else just as hopeless.

p.s.: Wrong is subjective. There is no such thing as right or wrong. Therefore degree of fat is also subjective. So there is no such thing as fat or thin either.

The F-Word Poem

Oh yes! the insult most feared.The one that each girl dreads to hear.The word that even some men too now despise.Playing with weights would be considered wise. -4

To be this insulting word, you cannot be it's opposite
To be bothered about the taunts makes you a git
For many you can either be this or that
So if you are not thin you can only be fat. -8

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

My Roses Have Gone

Who took my blue roses?
Where are my black thorns?
Where are my arrows and bows?
Where have they all gone? -4

My sour scented flowers;
My headless stalks lie upon the ground;
My arrows flew like sweet painless showers,
How my heart did gallop and pound. -8

My cherries have flown away;
The dust still lingers in the air.
The eyes stare from the clouds all day;
I've been made barren and bare. -12

I feel very much deprived and alone.
Even my birds sleep in another's nest.
Each passing moment my sorrow hath grown;
My heart can beat no more within my chest. -16

Monday, December 03, 2007

I Love Whales - The Other White Meat

The article found my interest (take a wild guess as to how or why). So I thought it would be great to make the public aware of this. The initial topic from where this excerpt was taken from wasn't really about whales. Should you like this excerpt feel free to read the original article. Link provided below. Enjoy!

"Y'know, I'm not a radical animal rights activist and I can understand that some societies hunt whales as part of their culture. I can also deal with the need to study whales so that we may better understand their needs, and by doing so allow us to devise better ways of protecting them - and sometimes that entails killing them. All I ask is that we be honest about it. Japan, you're not being honest. In 2005, Japan killed 1,243 whales under the guise of "scientific research". This year, 50 Humpback whales will be added to the quota. Whatever Japan's scientists are looking for, they're going through a heck of a lot of whales in order to find it. Oh, and the meat from these whales? You'll find it on supermarket shelves and served in school lunches. "Waste not, want not", right? Scientists did make one notable discovery: whale meat is loaded with dangerously high levels of PCB, mercury, and dioxin. Yum!!!"

I couldn't think of a better title for this topic. It just seemed so wrong yet so right both at the same time.
One fool's cool is another fool's wacky.

efference link:
click here

Saturday, December 01, 2007

In Love With a Stranger

I saw a stranger on the road;
Who just so happened to be a he,
I gazed at him and to my self said,
"That stranger is meant for me!"