Friday, May 30, 2014

I Am Not Pregnant - An Open Letter

Dear Concerned Friends,

(Does not concern family)

It's been less than two years since the white dress, tiered cake and the rest of the typical Goan Catholic wedding scenario. And already, you and so many others feel this irresistible impulse to ask me if my dear husband has impregnated me as yet. Why? Why are you asking? Why do you need to know? And why can't you ever use the word 'pregnant' so i know what you're talking about?

Here's just a teensy bit of what you sound like. 

1. Any special news?
2. Any announcements?
3. Keep trying in life to achieve something.
4. Any good news?
5. Any interesting news you want to share?

When I respond with a negative on the 9 month default situation you get weirder.

1. Oh, so sad. Why?
2. So when then? And why you guys waiting so long? Is something wrong?
3. Achieve something means have babies.
4. Arre, but why?
5. I just want to be happy for you.
6. Here let me encourage you with an old-timey image of me when I was such a cute widdle baby.
7. But it's been at least 2 years already, right?
8. Is everything okay between you and hubby? :(

Is this all we need to talk about when we say hello? Also, why must you ask this inane question every few months. I have not been mean and sarcastic with you about it because I've been told that that would be very impolite. If I can keep it together and not label you as a brainwashed pawn of society, I expect the same kind of restraint when it comes to your need to incessantly keep asking me about being with child or not.

So please, quit it with this "good news" hogwash already. And if you really must ask such questions, ask me why I haven't adopted a cat as yet. I will be most thrilled to tell you all about my dreams of having a cat and why it has not happened as yet.

With love,
Mother of none.

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"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless." Mother Teresa