Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Got Talons?

People ask annoying questions. One of them are, "Got guts?". I find this question very odd. Does it matter if you have guts? We all have guts, don't we? But why guts? Why ask someone if they have something that they most probably do have. Maybe guts because you're apparently supposed to sound daring?! Maybe...maybe not! But no, it isn't guts what you're supposed to have. It's talons. Yes, long, yellow, sharp, mean and vicious talons. That's what you really, truly need.

Why do you need talons? I'll tell you why. First of all it's because you don't have them. If you did have them then no one would have to go around asking random people if they had talons. And this way at least the question wouldn't sound so rhetorical as opposed to asking about someone having guts or not. So you see, it's more sensible to go about asking for talons instead.

Now, if you had talons then you'd be capable of skilfully ripping the gooey guts out of other people. It's very simple really. And then maybe after ripping the guts out you could ask about the well-being of the guts. Take for instance the following scenario.

Alpha: Got talons?
Beta: Yea, what's it to you?
Alpha: Mine's better than yours.
Beta: Oh yea?
Alpha: Yea!
Beta: Okay, let's claw!
Alpha: Bring it on!
(Much scratching and clawing goes on between squawks till you hear a kind of squishy ripping sound and then a sploosh.)
Alpha: Got guts?
Beta: I'm dying!

Now do you see why it's better to ask if the other person has talons and not guts? If the other person has talons then it's quite likely that he might also have guts.

P.S.: Talons could mean anything from intelligence to strength depending on the situation.

It's quite likely that the given scenario was between two owls; of course, it's just an assumption.

Friday, April 11, 2008


I take pride in dedicating this article to Opportunity. Here is what random people think of opportunity when it knocks on their doors.

1. The Moralistic Writer:
Opportunity is selfless. Few people appreciate it the way we all should. What opportunity has to suffer each time it knocks on our doors; it's a real shame. It tries to bring out the best of us. It knocks on our doors hoping that we'd open just to make our lives more easier or happier. But the lazy fools that we are, we never open the door on time. Worse, we sometimes don't even hear the knocking. It's so bad that we've turned deaf to it's knocking due to the perfected practice of ignoring the knocking.

2. The Working mother/Housewife:
Opportunity is like an annoying salesman. But we're tired people. Each time we open the door for it we've to run around quite a bit before we get the finished product. The only difference is that opportunity can bring to life our deep desires better than the gawky salesman. But we just can't keep opening the door each time and scurrying around like rats. We've got very busy lives what with the previous goals we've still not received.

3. The Hormone Infested Teen:
When we're in our youth it's easier to run around when opportunity tells us to. We find it fun in fact. We even find opportunity in the salesman that came knocking at our door (salesmen are feisty). We're ready for the risks that come with the goals that opportunity offers and give it all to get what we want. I mean, we don't want to regret no having fun when we grow old and boring, right?

4. The Spirited One:
It's destiny's decision for you to chose an opportunity or not. It all depends on fate...oh yes, and karma. You may think it is you who is choosing opportunity but it's not at all like so. Opportunity is probably the one who chose you before you even knew it was at your door. Our lives are controlled by higher powers and beings: those of which we know nothing of. Nothing!

5. The Layman:
It's better to not give opportunity such great importance. It's better to live one day at a time. There are better things to worry our over-stressed out minds already.

So which one seems more like YOU?

P.S.: The above five are few of the various alter-egos from the author's mind.

Friday, April 04, 2008

Six Characters In Search Of An Author - Luigi Pirandello

Six Characters In Search Of An Author is a modern play by Luigi Pirandello the original title being 'Sei Personaggi in Cerca d'Autore'. In the play, the audience is confronted with the unexpected arrival of six characters during the rehearsals for a play coincidently, one of Pirandello's own plays 'Mixing It Up' which was Pirandello's hint of self-humour. The Characters insisted on being given a chance to live, to be allowed to tell their unfinished story since they were abandoned by their original author. Pirandello describes the play as an abortive attempt at a play which he gave up on after realizing that "I have already afflicted my readers with hundreds and hundreds of stories. Why should I afflict them now by narrating the sad entanglements of these six unfortunates?" The characters, however, already created in his mind were "creatures of my spirit, these six were already living a life which was their own and not mine any more, a life which it was not in my power any more to deny them." The Comedy is without acts or scenes. The performance is interrupted once, without the curtain being lowered, when the manager and the chief characters withdraw to arrange the scenario. A second interruption of the action takes place when, by mistake, the stage hands let the curtain down. The ending is quite abrupt though with the Characters not completely getting what they wanted but disappearing just as suddenly as they came.

The six Characters are The Father, The Mother, The Stepdaughter, The Son, The Boy and The Little Girl. The Father is originally married to The Mother and insisted on The Son being sent off to live in the country to live with a wet nurse when he is a baby and therefore grew up not knowing his parents and dislikes them. He also dislikes his step-family, not considering them a part of the family. The Father told The Mother to marry another man who was one of his clerks whom he felt she loved more. Later, he nearly has an affair with The Stepdaughter, until The Mother interferes. When he learns that The Mother's second husband died, he invites her, The Son, The Stepdaughter, The Little Girl, and The Boy back to live with him. The Mother's three children are, The Boy, The Child, and The Stepdaughter with the second husband and had The Son with The Father. The Stepdaughter is the spirited daughter of The Mother and her second husband who is employed by Madame Pace and after she is "two months an orphan", she nearly has an affair with The Father. She runs away from home later in the story. According to her, she went to the author of the story constantly, trying to get him to finish the tale. The Boy is the middle child and only son of The Mother and her second husband. He is disliked by The Stepdaughter, who thinks he is an idiot. He never speaks during the play. At the end of the play, he commits suicide by shooting himself with a revolver. And lastly The Little Girl who is the youngest daughter of The Mother and her second husband and the favorite of The Stepdaughter. It is mentioned once that her name is Rosetta. She never speaks during the play. At the end of the play, she drowns in a fountain she was playing in, although The Son tries to pull her out. There are a few other characters which include Madame Pace who is the employer of The Mother and (later) The Stepdaughter. She runs a brothel out of store. She only appears for a short period of time in the play, when The Stepdaughter and The Father perform their scene in the shop together. She speaks in an Italian-American style. The others include various members of the theatre where the six characters had come to such as The Producer and The Actors.

This is my favorite play ever. The complexities in simple reality is truly brought out in this play. The methods used to tell the story like the 'absent audience' and relative or reflective self realities is really beautiful. You could read the play for more than five times and still learn another part of it that you've missed. My favorite of the Six Characters are The Father for his intelligence which is not so easily comprehensible by most of the others present and The Stepdaughter who isn't what you'd call wanton but one who is bold and rebellious. A really inspirational read.