Sunday, January 27, 2008

Minorities And Majorities

The minorities are those really quiet people in a classroom or at the workplace who you barely even noticed were there. They don't really dress according to 'fashion'. They never pop out of their little underground holes unless there is a compulsion to do so. They're never engaged in much conversation nor are they worth conversing about since they don't wear or do anything controversial for any of the girls to gossip about. They're so, almost invisible. They don't really care about what people say. They're safe in their little closets. Then again we're just as invisible to them. We're not included in their conversations. They obviously snicker at us the way the others snicker at them except they do it more discreetly and quietly.
Just like we call our groups as 'we' and thier groups as 'they' they do the same to us. People are usually put in any one of two categories. They're either 'this' or 'that'. You're either 'here' or 'there'. There is no inbetween. You can't be both. So you're either part of the 'we' group or 'they'.
So, which group do YOU belong to?

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Girl Talk

I go to"warm the benches" at college but what I do enjoy is eavedropping/joining in on other females conversations (boys' conversations aren't as good) so I can use it as fodder for my next blog post if needed or just something to laugh at.
Recently college had left early. I had nothing to do since it was too early to leave to go see my friend as she's usually an hour late and I was two hours early so therefore three hours early. I saw a couple of my friends and some other girls who I don't bother talking to sitting together and discussing some intriguing rubbish or the other. I decided to join in.
The following incident happens before the TICKET COLLECTOR post. Here are a few excerpts from the conversation:

Ecxerpt 1:
She: Let's read"The Sexpert"* section in the Mumbai Mirror. (opens newpaper to the section concerned and reads out loud)
Girl: (with genuine interest) What exactly does a sperm look like?
Me: (with feigned interest) An adder?!
Female: (genuinely annoyed) What? Is that a word?
The question remains unanswered as they change topic. I should've mentioned tadpoles instead.

Excerpt 2:
She: How do lesbians do it? (giggles)
Girl: (intrigued by question) Can they? No, they just cuddle up and kiss I guess. (cuddles self with eyes tightly shut and a silly smile on her face and then pouts)
(bedlam of giggles at Girl)
Other girl: (feigning seriousness and banging fist on desk at the same time) There must be a way!
Female: (taunts Other girl) Why, who do you want to do that with? (smirks)
Me: They use double sided dildos.
Girl: (befuddled) What? Diddle-o...what?
She: (understands what Me's talking about) So that means they put one side in each... (voice trails off as She's embarrassed to speak furthur)
Me: (continues She's unfinished sentence) ...of their respective soft, juicy, pink vaginas.
Female: (to Me) You're disgusting!
Me: (To Female) As are you and the conversation. (smiles sweetly to annoy Female)
We switch subjects here as things get heated up. It's somehow my fault.

Excerpt 3:
Girl: (with widened eyes) There were lesbians in my school and they did dirty things in the bathroom.
Me: (annoyed by the use of the word "dirty".) Dirty?!
Girl: (not understanding my tone of voice) Yes, I saw two girls half-naked in there once but I ran from there. I saw a girl put her hand under her skirt in class too.
Me: (wanting to ask which half but then decided not to) She could've been trying to get her panties out of the slit it keeps getting stuck in. (stresses on the word "slit")
(another outburst of giggles and a few shocked gasps at my statement)
Female: (to Me) You always think dirty only.
Me: (to Female, furthur annoyed by use of "dirty" word) What's dirty about it? It makes sense doesn't it?
Girl: (decides to agree with Me half-heartedly) I suppose you're right. But don't you think lesbians are weird?
Me: (checks time and decides to leave) Sure, they've got penis-envy. Bye you guys. (gets up and leaves)
I leave the giggling goats to themselves and set off to meet my friend. I'm certain they're happy I left too.

P.S: The author loves to make fun of fellow-females.
*A twit who answers more or less repeated sex related questions everyday in the Mumbai Mirror.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

By The Head Ticket Collector's (T.C) Office

Recently I found myself seated by the head ticket collector's (T.C.'S) office at some random railway station. I've better things to do usually, but college left me a little too early that day and I had to meet a friend at that station as I agreed to accompany her (the same one from THIS article) since I had little better to do. I got to the station on time but she's usually at least an hour late and I normally pass the entire hour calling her incessantly asking her how much longer till she got there but not this time. This time, I decided to just sit and observe the T.C.'s at their jobs.
For about 90 minutes I sat by the head T.C.'s tiny office and observed the men dressed in navy blue/black coats and trousers, light blue shirts with mauve ties and some also with beer bellies with walrus moustaches. There were about as many as 15 of them on the double platform which was more than the usual amount at other stations. And I must say they did a good job too. It must very lucrative for them considering the amount of people they catch in an hour alone. I'd say it was roughly about more than 30 ticketless passangers they caught per hour. They usually make them cough-up about Rs.150-200 or so per person (I speak of an unforgetable experience) You can just imagine how much they must make in an entire month and more so during festive seasons.
Sitting right next to the door allowed me to hear the desperate pleas of those caught ticketless. Some would make up stories to be let off while others would be on the phone asking for someone to get them out of their plight. Those who had the cash on them were out in a few minutes. It was about 45 minutes later when one of them came and asked me for my railway-pass, I thought they'd never ask. It got boring after that. My friend finally arrived and we left the station and it's T.C.'s.

P.S.: The author found out that she can be very patient...provided her mind's distracted.

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Bunking In College - Second Time Blacklisted

For the second time during this academic year and since I started college two and half years ago I made it to the blacklist. Out of six different subjects I managed to miss lectures more than allowed of three (yes, we're allowed to bunk upto a certain amout of lectures per subject). I was devastated to find out that it was just three but was proud of myself anyways. I made it to the first list but not to the second, but now I'm back on the third list. I doubt if I'll get on the list for a third time though. I plan to attend classes more regularly (so I've been telling myself lately). I've got myself on the blacklist twice and that should be more than enough, I shouldn't get greedy (???).
I suppose it isn't at all fun to be home all the time and at least not this often. It's a bore really. I'm not sure what I learnt from this experience. It seemed utterly useless. Then again, a lot of things I do seem useless anyways. The only thing I learnt is that keeping up with missed notes is a lot tougher when you miss too many lectures at a time. I've missed five lectures in a row for Sociology (I wasn't on the list for this subject, I wonder how) now and if this keeps up I'll soon find myself running around for notes like the kids at college who I dispise and refuse to share my notes with (I'm a selfish pig, so what?!). I won't turn into one of them, not now, not ever! Time to say hello to 'Ms.Goody-Two-Shoes' again, she's been missed for too long.

P.S.: The author was blacklisted for Psychology, Foundation Course and English Literature and was on the borderline for Sociology. Only Communication Skills was reasonably attended. There's no list for French but she wouldn't be caught dead blacklisted for that ever eitherways. Not bad eh?

Saturday, January 05, 2008

Book Review: The Boyfriend - R. R. Rao

This book deals with a relationship between two homosexual men. The fictitious and satirical story takes place in Mumbai, India.

The two men meet in the gents' toilets at Churchgate where cottaging is quite regular. They never expected it to go on to a relationship but it evolves into something deeper between the two. While one was a 33 year old freelance journalist, the other was a young 20 year old adult. A female painter falls in love with the journalist once she finds out about his homosexuality but he ignores her obvious seductions. Their relationship goes sour when the younger of the two begins work as a male-prostitute, earns more than the journalist and no more needs to depend on him anymore. He eventually leaves his journalist lover to marry a girl arranged by his parents who are oblivious to their son's sexual romps with the journalist. The female painter friend is happy that the journalist is rid of his boyfriend and lends a shoulder for him to cry on. Neither of the two get into a relationship though they do remain as friends.

The book brims with sexual innuendos such as referring to the penis as a "chilli" and other similar situations. The story was written in the form of fictional reality where the places that were described were actual places in India (Bombay) but the story was fictional. The atmostphere during the entire novel was very dull or bleak. The only thing that kept me reading on were the double entendres. A very simple plot but nevertheless an average read.